The Story of My Skin

From an acne-filled, scarred, pigmented and lumpy face!

My face has been the bane of my life for the past 8 years. Sounds dramatic. Now that makeup art has become such a big part of my plans, career and hopefully future my skin has been something that I don’t know what to do with anymore. I have tried hundreds of at-home remedies, over the counter ‘miracle’ products and been prescribed ointments and pills by doctors, however I feel like my acne has always been something completely different and rejects everything I treat it to.

My skin is now so scarred, I feel like I have missed the opportunity to have beautiful skin in my youth and I am far more passionate about covering it up than trying to fix it anymore. It sounds almost stupid to say that, almost as if I’ve given up – but trust me I haven’t, I just refuse to spend loads of money (I’m still a little student) on products that I just don’t believe in anymore nor want to take my chances with something as strong as Accutane.

I first began getting spots when I was 11, typical, puberty-induced teenage spots which I picked and then tried to cover the scabs with £1 Boots concealer straight from the bullet. The thought of which now horrifies me. I carried my spots with me through the beginning of secondary school; along came the beginning of my periods and a wave of new spots. This is where I change from saying ‘spots’ to ‘acne’. My main problem area has always been my chin, under my lower lip; on the rim of my lip and surface of my chin I gained (and still have) lots of tiny yellow/white spots where the pores meet the surface. These lumpy little aliens have yet to budge, and occasionally take it in turns to party and turn into big spots! Not only did these spots look lumpy, aggravated and unsightly they became very cyst-like and painful.  Around then I began to go to the doctors for treatments as it began to spread onto my cheeks. Luckily I wasn’t ever bullied for the way my face looked, it just made me feel down and uncomfortable, when all I wanted to do was experiment with makeup as a 13-year-old girl!

Since then, I have had a constant battle with hundreds of acne and spot treatments, face routines, cleansers and moisturizers as well as pills and creams from my doctor. Around 2012 my cyst-like acne began to clear up, year 11 was the year of my prom so I made a conscious effort to do lost of exercise (Zumba every Monday with the girls) and eat better. This was when I also became really interested in special fx makeup and had decided it would be an interesting route for my further education. My healthier lifestyle really had a strong effect on my skin; I still had the occasional spots – especially because GCSE’s were the most stressful thing in my life up until then – but my face didn’t hurt as much, and I wasn’t constantly picking at it! The week before my prom I had a maths exam, which I really revised hard for. I stayed late after school and spent my evenings practicing. When the day of prom came along, for the first time in 5 years I woke up without a single new spot on my face. Even the existing ones seemed to have slightly disappeared that day! It sounds like some cliché miracle from a film (Cinderella? Spoterella?) but still to this day I owe it to the dedication to revision I had for that maths exam! (I got a B if you were wondering!) Prom day was still one of the best days of my life, it’s a complete other story in itself, but I remember getting so many compliments on both my makeup and skin!

I would now call myself a ‘Spot Expert’. Namely because on the odd occasion I squeeze a spot, I can accurately predict exactly what it will be like inside and how it will erupt. I still really struggle with the quality of my skin, A Levels saw the decrease in cyst like spots regularly, but an increase in blackheads and my chin lumps. Still to this day I am yet to solve the mystery of my face, however my face is now the result of my teenage years. I have really noticeable pigmentation around my eyes, which I believe is partly hereditary, but I also have darkness around my chin and cheeks from acne scars. I still have the lumps on my chin, and the overall texture of my skin too is very lumpy.  For now, I have found a little routine which has definitely helped improve the vibrancy and texture of my face – something which I will probably share in my next post, and definitely want to keep up and have faith in for as long as I can!

I feel my makeup application has definitely been a big help in disguising my skin, partly why I love the art of makeup so much! I hope that even if my skin doesn’t improve, I will be able to complete my degree in Makeup for Media and Performance next year without it ruining my creative ideas!

For now, thank you for reading this, it was a strange passage to put into words so I apologize if it’s very chatty and informal. It was a long one too so I salute you if you’ve made it this far, and hope to see you again next time!

Best wishes, Zoë xxx